Jan 12, 2014

Hope and Flannel Boxers - The Man of Steel Fanfic

“Don't do it! Stop!”

Heat rays emerging from the eyes of General Zod drew closer and closer to a scared family of civilians who have just happened to be in the way of two Kryptonians fighting. They screamed in utter terror as scorching fire beams were melting the walls around them and were slowly getting even closer.

“Stop it, you genocidal maniac!” shouted Clark straining to hold Zod from killing the innocent family.

“Never! I will rebuild Krypton here on the ruins of everything you've ever called home!”

“Seriously, they should have sentenced you to, like, a week in a Kryptonian, like, broom closet, then you'll be dead with the rest of the planet, problem solved,” grumbled Clark. “But noooo. Phantom Zone, eternal torment, which, by the looks of it, was not that eternal! Also, for a guy who spent three hundred cycles in the Zone you look quite fine. A little insane, understandably, but fine. Oh, did I mention you didn't DIE with the rest of the planet!?”

“You know, I haven't actually looked at the situation from this angle.”

Heat rays stopped on their way to the innocent family of civilians and just kept melting one spot of the wall in contemplation. Screams faded into tired moans, and civilians started to sound more bored then terrified. Heat rays melted through the wall, and muffled sounds of explosions came from outside.

“If you are going to terraform the bejesus out of the planet, anyway, why not take Mars? It's empty, roughly the same size, kinda cold and spooky as you like, I guess, and with your tech it's like taking a bus to the town to get there.”

“But my plan was to destroy everything you've loved and to reboot the slightly totalitarian Kryptonian civilization. You know, revenge and all? Arrrgh?”

“Aren't I supposed to be the angsty overgrown teenager in this movie?”

“Don't you dare break the fourth wall and mock me, kid!” Heat rays resumed their crawl towards the family of civilians, who sighed and started screaming again, though with significantly less enthusiasm then before.

There wasn't much Clark could come up with at this point, except for restraining Zod in a choke hold and trying to turn him away from innocent people. What would happen if Clark just closed Zod's eyes with his hand was a matter for comic book fans to discuss and too iffy an option at the moment. Adrenalin and panic messed with Clark's head for good, his thoughts raced pointlessly into nowhere, and, honestly, he wasn't much of a thinker to begin with. Heat rays got even closer to the family of civilians. He probably could simply drop Zod on the ground face down, thought Clark suddenly, yeah, that could help, pin him to the floor, hold him tight, give people time to run, beat him into submission, wait, what.

“Huh,” said Zod suddenly. “Did you just poke me with... Is this your... Because it feels like it really is. Also, really hard.”

Clark could instantly feel his face turn red and was grateful he was holding Zod from behind so he couldn't see it. In a second, though, Clark realized that Zod could feel alright and moved a little further from him, still holding the man by the throat. This was getting a bit awkward.

“Well, I...” mumbled Clark. “I guess I get a little too excited in a fight sometimes.”

“You call this a little?”

“Could we please not change the subject? Terraforming? Revenge fantasies? Property damage?”

“As you wish!”

Heat rays resumed their menacing slow movement towards civilians, who, judging by the sound effects, reluctantly put away Candy Crush and went back to screaming and yelling, while still looking at their phones for time. One of the kids took a picture of Superman fighting General Zod and looked as if unsure whether to post it to Instagram or to sell to a news agency.

“Man, you're complicated,” sighed Clark. “See, I really don't want to play Hamlet and kill you for, like, murdering my father, in a manner of speaking, or whatever, this analogy doesn't work and you won't get it anyway. Ah, screw it.”

Clark pushed his whole weight on Zod's body and tripped him up, dropping Zod on the ground and landing on top of him. Clark straddled Zod's thighs and held his arms to the ground, trying to keep him from raising his head and using the heat vision again.

* * *

“Run!” shouted Clark at the family of civilians, who sighed in relief and waved at him as they walked away fast, but did not, in fact, run. “Does anyone even listen to me these days?”

“I can, but you'll have to lean a little closer to me, I can't hear you over the whole Metropolis crashing down.” Zod started to sound less dramatic and villainous being pressed to the ground under Clark's weight.

“I'm not falling for your tricks, Zod.”

“It's not a trick, it's a relatively clever way to make you rub your... supermanhood against my rear.”

“Relatively being the key word here,” remarked Clark calmly and then exclaimed in sudden realization. “Hold on, so, was this UST this whole time?”

“I have no idea what is this sentence you just said.”

“Unresolved sexual tension,” said Clark matter-of-factly, leaning forward to Zod spread under him. “I mean, all this revenge, and restoration of Krypton, and you suddenly want my body to complete your vendetta, and that bondage play after giving me kryptonite roofie on your ship, and dramatically taking off your armor mid-fight, it all adds up, really,” Clark smiled awkwardly and raised his eyebrows, surprised by this conclusion.

“I zoned out after 'sexual', could you repeat that, please? Slowly? On a related note, do you have anything under your costume?”

“Should I?” Clark felt like his virginity has been temporarily restored without his knowledge, with all the blushing and awkwardness. He thought he would be grateful to live through this coming-of-age drama at the age of 33 and not have acne again, at least. “I'm fairly new to this Kryptonian stuff, did you guys go commando? It's not like your Codex archives have this information, and I had to change into this costume in Arctic out of my winter clothes, soooo...”

“I'm listening.”

“It was either flannel boxers or nothing, okay? Stop changing the subject. What I was saying, if it was about you and me all along, you could've just, I dunno, come visit without this operatic Kryptonian epicness. No matter what the screenwriter told you, I still stand for hope and such, rustic American values, apple pies and plaid shirts, you know?”

“Flannel boxers?”

“Yes, hope and flannel boxers, now shut up and let me finish. What I mean, I could have used a company of an actual, non-holographic guy from my home planet, just hanging out, or we could have come to my home in Kansas, mom wouldn't have minded, and figured out whatever issues you have due to spending three hundred cycles in a container shaped like a dick. How long is this cycle, anyway? But I digress. Again. And yet you've chosen to go ballistic on my planet,” Clark's grip on Zod's arms tightened. “Why did you throw my mom's truck into the house? Seriously, man? I can see why you wanted to terraform the planet, but a truck? Really?”

“Did you just suggest we go to your place and I meet your mom?”

“There's no place left to go to, you see! You. Crashed. It. With. A. Truck.”

“Could you, I don't know, spin the planet backwards and turn back time, or something?”

“I can do that?”

“Well, worth a try.”

A moment of silence fell, and sirens echoed into the station, followed by a distant rumble in nearly demolished buildings.

“Okay, I should try that. This mess needs to be fixed. But you're going with me up there. I don't want to come back here and start this ridiculous brawl all over again. If this does the trick, we shall go someplace quiet, like Smallville, and have a go at what happened today without Earth-shattering destruction. Or I accidentally create something timey-wimey and the whole space-time continuum collapses. Either this, or someplace quiet. Deal?”

“Deal, I'll go with you to turn back time, although I have no idea how it will play out once we're back. Will we meet us?”

“I dunno. But if we do, we'll stop us from demolishing my hometown. You got it, General?”

“Yes, I got it. Please, call me General once more, in case the continuum coll--”

A sharp blow to the head knocked Zod out.

“I didn't say you'll be awake up there with me. General.”

Clark smirked at Zod, grabbed his unconscious nemesis – or was he more like a frenemy now? weird uncle? future ex-husband? – and rushed to the Earth orbit thrilled and inspired by the hope to undo the damage he have so foolishly done. He might have gotten a second chance, a chance to start over being Superman, not an alien force of destruction, in the eyes of people he loved, and also to try and find something good in this damaged man he was now carrying.

Oh, and also to ask what the consensus on having underwear was on Krypton before it blew up. Or was THIS the underwear?..

* * *

The setting sun shone through the blinds of Kents' house into the empty living room. General Zod was on the sofa, oddly out of place here in his tight black suit, a beaten up space alien on an old farm in the middle of Kansas. Zod opened his eyes to the sun and looked around. He barely remembered coming here after Kal-El hit him on the head, tied to the debris of Soviet satellite, and spinned the Earth backwards to fix the damage they've caused. Judging by the absence of a truck in the living room, it worked, and they didn't even meet themselves on the way home, Clark's home, that is. What should he even call the guy, he's got too many names. Where is he, anyway?

Clark was sitting on the porch steps, wearing his old t-shirt and ripped faded jeans, soda can in his hand.

“So, you're not afraid to leave me unattended in your mother's house now?” asked Zod carefully, standing in the doorway.

“Mom just went to town. Says she goes to the book club now. She's seeing someone, I'm pretty sure, but acts as if I don't even notice,” chuckled Clark. “It seems like whatever I did with turning the Earth backwards worked, she hasn't seen any aliens land here. Apparently, you ordered your people to stay in the high orbit, and US Army doesn't want to rush things as well after I gave them a brief visit carrying you bruised and unconscious.”

Clark turned his head and looked at Zod with a carefree smile.

“And you... Well, I think I don't need to be THAT worried about you now. Don't get me wrong, you're still a menace to the whole planet and all, but...” Clark stood up and came closer to Zod, gently smiling and looking into his eyes. “But I guess after all we went through today you'll be eager to take a less violent way to overcome our... difficulties.”

The only sound around them was grass and trees' rustling in a light wind, so Zod's hard swallow at Clark's words came out pretty loud.

“I'm not saying we should abandon violence completely,” said Clark placing one hand over Zod's shoulder on a door frame and winking archly at him. “I'm a symbol of hope, not boredom, after all. You like it a tiny bit rough, don't you, General?”

“Hnghpf,” Zod cleared his throat unable to take his eyes off the man standing right against him. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Let's go to my room, then. I'm dying to see what's under your suit.”

Clark rushed upstairs like a kid on a Christmas morning, giving Zod a good chance to look at his butt from below. Zod's eyes went hazy at the view, he fumbled for a can of soda Clark left on the table, drank the rest of it in one swig and followed. This day wasn't even over yet, but was already packed with adventures on a wide range from mass destruction and rewinding said mass destruction to jumping into bed with the guy he have sworn he'd kill and who almost killed him first.

Zod entered an open door of Clark Kent's bedroom and was presented with a view of shirtless Clark unbuttoning his jeans. This guy seriously needs to get laid, thought Zod as Clark shut the door and threw him to the wall with just enough force to not break it. The next few minutes were lost in a blur of inquisitive hands running up and down Zod's body, plump wet lips, a quick tongue curious for Kryptonian taste and a hard bulge pressing into Zod. Zod held for his dear life onto Clark's firm butt, and at the moment he felt like he found the purpose in his life – to never let go of this man's ass, no matter what challenges the destiny will bring. Clark must have felt the admiration in this touch and flexed his muscles. Zod was not certain if anyone have managed to flex his butt with pride before, but this day finally came, and almost did Zod.

Clark broke their kiss and slowly knelt before Zod.

He carefully traced Zod's erection under the suit, moving his finger up and down the shaft and circling the balls. He then rubbed his palm over Zod's bulge, looked up to see General's astounded expression and pressed his lips to Zod's crotch. Hands firmly placed on Zod's thighs, Clark rubbed his face on the Kryptonian's hard dick with low moans, peeked lower between his legs and stroked the erection throbbing impatiently under the skin tight costume with his pink flushed cheek. Zod didn't care at this point whether his dick was out of his pants or not, he was enthralled running his fingers through Clark's curly dark hair and watching his a-moment-ago-arch-enemy rubbing the face into his nethers. His balls tightened, and Zod hadn't willpower left to hold any longer, so the next second Clark felt a hot stream rush from the Kryptonian's pulsating cock, filling the alien's suit with sticky release and a distinct smell of sex.

Clark looked up again with a mischievous smile on his face, rubbing Zod's damp crotch and taking a loud sniff. Clark's lips were parted, and a tip of his tongue ran quickly over his upper lip, as if Zod needed this scene to be even more excruciatingly pornoraphic. He pushed Clark aside unceremoniously and fell on the bed panting.

“Fuck Krypton, I'm staying.”

Clark got on the bed next to him with a laugh. “I'm just warming up, General. Now, let's both get naked.”

* * *

“So,” Zod tried to start making coherent sentences again without moaning. “You're not new to this... business, are you?”

He was completely undressed (there was nothing underneath Zod's suit, but now Clark found the idea of his costume being actually Kryptonian long johns less embarrassing and more kinky fun) and positioned firmly on all fours in bed, while Clark made himself busy standing on the knees next to it with his face deep between Zod's spread butt cheeks. He had no idea whether the Kryptonian's perfectly smooth body was a product of his planet's genetic engineering or religiously thorough waxing, but this sleekness was rather appealing anyway.

Clark stopped penetrating Zod's butt with his tongue and flipped him over in one move.

“Well, let's see...” said Clark, gathering all his strength to keep a serious face. “I've spent a few years working on a fishing boat, doing dishes at a truck stop diner, or hitchhiking with long haul drivers.” He spit on his fingers and lifted Zod's leg in the air. “All that, and me being a hot piece of ass, means only one thing apart from forming The Village People cover band – no, I'm not new to this business, General.”

Clark stuck two fingers inside Zod and began moving them back and forth, twisting his hand at each stroke. Zod's body arched as his fingers hit the g-spot, and Clark pulled his partner closer, admiring Zod's ecstatic face and tense muscles under soft smooth skin.

“Is this your plan now, kid?”

“What plan?”

“To conquer all evil without fight, but instead making your enemies orgasm, like, every five minutes?”

“Pretty much,” Clark licked Zod's toe, sending shivers down his whole body.

“You bastard. And what about female villains?” grinned Zod.

“They can have multiple orgasms, you know that? And with me, they not only can, but do. Oh, and those strong dominant ladies, more experienced ones?” Clark laid down next to Zod and brought his lips closer to Zod's ear. “We have such good time together, you have no idea what they do when they learn I can take any punch. Or slap. Or scratch.” Clark ran his hand down Zod's abs and moved it back up touching the man's skin with his short nails. “I met this girl once, she was really into tying guys to her bed and... playing with them. I could have easily torn those ropes and belts, but I just couldn't bring myself to ruin her fun. Once she put a ball gag with a dildo on it in my mouth, I knew I was in good hands, I almost came the moment she finally started riding it. I guess I'll work something out with female villains.”

Zod turned his head to Clark without saying anything, his nostrils wide with heavy breathing.

“Oh, and I'm also damn good at missionary with lights turned off and socks on. Because traditional values.”

“You horny little shit,” uttered Zod in awe.

“Yep, that's me in a nutshell, just don't tell anyone. I like the element of surprise. But enough with the talking.”

* * *

“You see, there are way more pleasant ways to get my DNA other than murdering me. Just don't swallow it all,” said Clark sitting down next to helplessly spread Zod. Zod laid flat in bed, his chest heaving and his body hurting in quite a few wonderful places after Clark had his way with him for what seemed like a week, even though the patch of the sky in the window was still not fully dark. Or was it getting brighter? He really lost track of time. Zod looked up at Clark, smiled and wiped a few remaining drops of semen from his chin, then sucking it from his finger with a look of delight on his face.

“Oh, I almost forgot to ask. What did you call me when you were coming all over me, General?”

“I... Did I? Those were probably just random noises, nevermind.”

“I'm pretty sure you called me Jor when I pinched your nipples,” Clark's voice lowered a little, reminding Zod that this was the man who nearly killed him today. Clark's eyes were laughing, though, to Zod's relief. “So, is this some kinky fantasy of yours, or did you actually do my, um, other father some time back, Dru?”

“Please don't call me Dru.”

“Only if you stop calling my dad's name while riding my cock.”

“Okay, fine, yes. Me and your dad, we had a thing a long time ago. We were young, it was before he met Lara, it wasn't romantic and all, more, how do I put it, physical. It all just slipped into my mind thanks to your... appendage. You have your father's... um... this sentence should probably stop around here.”

“So, how do I stack up against him?”

“Miles ahead of your old man, kid. Freaking light years.”

“Good.” Clark gave Zod a quick kiss on the cheek. “Question closed, then.”

Clark stood up from the bed and walked to the window. Zod was following his every move, carried away by the view of muscles working under the man's skin glistening with sweat. Clark opened the window and looked into the sky, taking a deep breath of the night air rushing into the bedroom.

“Come here, I want to show you something.”

Zod gathered all his remaining strength to stand up and walked to Clark on a slightly wobbly legs. Damn, he was less sore after they leveled a half of Metropolis with bare hands.

“You see that planet, a reddish spark not so high above horizon?”

“Aww, you're all romantic now?” Zod came closer to Clark and wrapped his hands around him. His body was firm and nice to hold on to. Zod could seriously spend some time here hugging this big guy. It would be a time well spent.

“That's the planet I was talking about earlier. No man's land, waiting for the world engine to transform it into something new. Something alive. It's not that far, you could come visit on weekends. I could cook dinner.”

“You COOK?”

“Yes, why?”

“I don't know why I'm still surprised by anything, really. And, yeah, I'll look into it, the planet, I mean. Sounds good. And I'll need so much more of your genetic material, you'll be the first to cry for mercy.”

“I highly doubt that, General,” smiled Clark.

“Okay, realistically, I'll do the crying, fine,” Zod rested his head on Clark's shoulder. “But I need you to be ready to pump me full of your juice. Only we should catch a nap first,” yawned Zod into Clark's ear.

Clark looked outside at the sky that was slowly turning blue on the horizon fading the stars away. He caught Zod in his hands and carried him into the messy bed.

“You know, it's really nice that we didn't kill each other today, Kal.”

“Yeah.” Clark laid down next to Zod and held him tight in his arms. “Just one more thing...”


“Call me Clark.” 

1 comment:

  1. Much more interesting than the movie. This should have been the way it ended.